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Thursday, 7 September 2017

NESS (JERK?)

“Sit down here while I talk to you. You don’t walk out on me!” That was two weeks ago.
“You fool, is that what your mates are doing?” That was just last week, when her husband had playfully told her that he wished he would celebrate his thirtieth birthday in a grand style.
“And whose business is that?” was the question she was now asking him as he explained to her that he didn’t want trouble this time, hoping that she would understand from his earlier explanation that he had had an hectic day at work.
“Gloria.” Ness said quietly, “please don’t cause trouble again tonight. We just settled a dispute this morning, don’t start another.”
“You better confess now.” She pushed him back to a sitting position as he attempted to walk away from her, he landed carelessly but safely on the chair. “You have started having an affair with your secretary abi? You are now using it to cover up as hectic day at work. You fool. You think I won’t know?”
Pushing him wasn’t to his much surprise, at least just two weeks ago, she literally pulled him out of the house with his tie, almost chocking him in the process. She hadn’t stopped even when the neighbours intervened and begged her to. Ness wondered what had suddenly come over his wife. She hadn’t been like this when they first met, she hadn’t been a mild type either, just a lady that would pass for satisfactory. Now she had grown far less than that.
“Woman, leave me alone.” He said, as if to make a threat.
“What?” She yelled, “What would you do?”
And she was right, because there was absolutely nothing he would do. She knew this aspect of him, and that was probably what gave her confidence. Ness held a philosophy in very high esteem; there was no circumstance that warranted battering a woman. Although he believed that very strongly, he still considered that there were fierce implications if he crossed it. Implications like what his aunt had told him one day; “If a man beats a woman,she will die in his hands”. Fear in him, had been a major contribution to his conviction.
“Why not press the ‘reset button’” Lekan offered him an advice, after he told him the tale about how she pulled him with his tie in the presence of their neighbours.
“What is the reset button?” Ness asked, he knew the answer already, but he asked because he wished it wasn’t what he thought.
A beautiful slap of course. Or something like that, it would reset her incorrect head.”
“Thank you.” Ness had quickly said to the ministration of the devil, in his mind, the words of his aunt rang; ‘She will die
Gloria’s madness reduced from weeks intervals to almost every other day, then it became extremely worse; there was hardly any day she didn’t find and declare her husband’s incompetence.
She will die. Ness kept telling himself, and he would choose rather to walk away from the scene where her anger is ignited.
There was usually a point when every man reached his limits, but with Ness’ mind always telling him that if he ever attempted laying his hands on her, he’d become a murderer. Ness received the shame.
Ness decided to go home and apologize one afternoon, he had been quite disturbed about a simple misconception that she had nursed against him. The misconception was a text message that came from his secretary at around 1:00am that morning which read; I am still at the hotel waiting, what’s delaying you Dear?
Even though the secretary had called back immediately to apologize for sending the text message to the wrong number, Gloria still refused to believe her husband. She denied him sleep throughout that night, nagging so terribly that Ness had to lock himself up in their store. She stood by the door of the small room, and said things that wouldn’t make sleep come to his eyes. Even if he managed overlooking the unprintable words she said to him, her high pitched tenor – which pitched even higher that morning, would send any form of sleep back.
Ness found it difficult to focus at work, he transferred much of the aggression on his secretary, but she was a woman too, and so he knew that if he continued; she will die too. Ness therefore decided to go back home and beg his wife until she accepted his apologies. He needed it, to focus on his day’s work.
As Ness entered his bedroom unexpectedly, he met another man on top of his wife, both moving in a perfect rhythm like swimmers, except that they were not in a pool, and they were stark naked. It almost ran him mad, especially as they were not aware of his presence for long and continued the shameful act right before his eyes. That was the first time Ness asked himself if he was sure she really would die if he touched her, but it was a dangerous thought, because he knew that she will really die!, and the blood will be on him.
“Gloria!” He hadn’t finished calling the name when the man turned around, stood suddenly and flew out of his room in an almost impossible dive. Gloria adjusted herself and sat back on the bed, not looking remorseful.
“Welcome home. You are back early.” She simply said.
“How dare you defile our matrimonial bed?!” He yelled.
“Mr. Man, don’t shout at me o. If I can’t get satisfaction from one of you, what stops me from trying two?” She hissed.
Ness didn’t know what moved his hands up suddenly to land on her face in three quick succession. The receiving spot turned red and sour. She locked his shirt quickly and expertly, she wasn’t even surprised that he finally broke his philosophy.
“You have to kill me today o!” She yelled, but didn’t release him to walk away from the room even if he wanted to get a knife.
Seeing that she did not die, Ness landed another set of slaps on her face, accompanied by a furious; “You bloody woman!”
She pushed him in defense, releasing his shirt and running towards the living room to call intruders into the matter. Ness leapt after her, he caught up with her at the main entrance, the slaps appeared to be doing a wonderful reset work on her and he liked it, he decided to apply it as much as would work.
She didn’t die, her face only turned red and red as she yelled; “You’ll kill me today o!”
In one final attempt, she tossed Ness away, so that she could escape into the compound to the interference of neighbours that were still at home. Ness doubted if the neighbours would come out, they might only be surprised that he had finally broken her jinx on him.
As she pushed him, she turned around and tripped at the entrance, her knee cap shifted and she remained there crying and wailing regretfully.
Ness didn’t see her fall, he had just been pushed in the direction of the shelf and the whole content in it had crashed on his soft head. Blood was gushing profusely from the back of his head while he lay there helplessly. There was one final sentence that came into his mind before his eyes became shut; she will die!
The End