JIDE’S HUNT FOR A WIFE (PART 1)

So my friend had invited me to this new year’s party that his Uncle and aunt were throwing. He already told me that a lot of people would be there including many ‘singles’ as it wasn’t just a family thing. I was quite happy because this was another opportunity to continue my wife hunt. My mother was already on my neck. “Jide! Where are my grandchildren oo?” would be the first thing she would say to me anytime I went visiting. Already done with school, completed my nysc, gotten a job at an oil company and was living comfortable EXCEPT I didn’t have a wife to warm up the sheets of my bed and a little one running around in diapers. I mean, I had already been a grooms’ man to so many of my friends I lost count. This party had better vomit a wife for me, I thought to myself.

So fast forward to this moment….

I was just looking around when I came across this beautiful lady walking by me. She was heading to the table where food was being served. I hadn’t gotten my food yet so I decided maybe it was time to quench my hunger. I stood up from where I was seated and walked up to the table. I was hoping I would know how to start a conversation with her without already ending it so I watched as she stood in front of me, serving herself. I watched her from the moment she took two wraps of pounded yam and to when she went over to dish some of the soup that was placed at the other side of the table. That was even my best soup, Egusi. Maybe God was speaking to me because there were many other choices. She also proceeded and added some stew on top and I thought to myself, I have found my wife. At that point, I had already taken my wraps of pounded yam so I stood like I was waiting to get something from where she was. I was still playing the conversation in my head and was trying to figure out when to actually strike a conversation when I saw one small boy walk up to her and said; “Mummy, daddy said not too much stew.” I wasn’t sure I heard right so I looked around trying to look for the mummy the small boy was referring to but it was just the three of us that were around there except the caterers standing behind the tables. I swallowed the saliva left in my mouth and said maybe I didn’t hear right again. I mean the pretty lady literally looked like she had never been pregnant not to talk of having a six-seven years old son. I finally got the courage to speak out but the first thing that came out of my mouth was;

“Hi, sorry can you pass me the spoon over there?”

I clearly didn’t need the spoon that was meant for the jollof rice but it was what came out of my mouth. As she lifted the spoon off the tray and stretched forth her hand to give me the spoon, I saw ‘the ring’ on her finger. Nothing else could tell me otherwise, I was convinced she was already taken. Curious to know if she truly was taken, I asked if the small boy was her son and she said yes. She even pointed to her husband when her son asked her a question. I was really pissed, not at her but just pissed. I just complimented her and her son and walked back to my seat disappointed and even without any food. I tapped my friend who was now seated across me, “Where is my wife?”

 To be continued...