10 Ways to stay safe from the dreaded Monkey Pox.

1. Avoid Monkey meat especially the Kanda.

2. Avoid that alcoholic concoction called Monkey Tail or Mokite.

3. Avoid Monkey Cage when u visit any Zoo until further advised.

4. Avoid Chinese Films especially 'Snake in The Monkey Shadow'.

5. Avoid Monkey (Wayo) Business, especially my Igbo brothers.

6. If u luv playing football like me please avoid 'Monkey Post' for now until after the 2018 World Cup in Russia.

7. For the sake of ur life, avoid watching those Hausa & Togolese men who carry Monkeys about in Major Nigerian cities, especially Lagos, in the name of entertainment & magic. U will just die troway!!!

8. Don't ever use the phrase 'Monkey no fine but im Mama like am' else the pox will come upon u like a Hurricane.

9. Don't allow any of ur child to be jumping upandan like Monkey else 'dem go catch am o! It is better they jump like Antelope or any other animal.

Run 440 if u spot anyone with the disease. Avoid unecessary physical contacts, especially in Bayelsa State & always wash & sanitise ur hands b4 eating. If u can help it, stay in ur house until this scourge is sent to meet its cousin (Ebola Virus) in the pit of hell.
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