MY SMARTPHONE MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Tonia had sent me to text her her favorite meal as a prerequisite before i could take her out.

i quickly typed afam and edikaikong soup with dog meat and hit the send button but the message refused the send.

‘Are you sure you wouldnt think that answer over? i think you are wrong.” my smartphone quickly asked

”will you send the message? i own you remember. Tonia is an efik girl.all efik girls love afam soup.”i thundered .

my phone finally sent the message. IT can be very annoying. Ever since the Iphone twenty asked me to accept a software upgrade, it has not stopped interfering in my personal life. The last time, it detected my unusualy hot hand and requested me to take a malaria drug. my phone now diagonise me like a doctor. One nice attribute of the phone is its inability to get lost. I just say
hey phone,where are you and it emits a loud chime which helps me locate its where about..

Three minutes later tonia replied my message. She stated how she had told me several times of her hatred for efik delicacy and how she orders bitterleaf soup in our previous dates.she ended the message by telling she couldnt hang out with me for failing the simple question.. I couldnt hide my disapointment. My phone mocked me . I was at the verge of smashing it on the floor but when i remember that i spent over half a million to purchase the i phone twenty, Iretreated,

my phone won. I remember three weeks ago when i wanted to buy Tonia an expensive suit as birthday gift,my phone told of i would regret it .i had no future with her. She was not into me .we were incompatible. I crushed its words aside now they are begining to hunt me. May be i should start seeking my smart phone counsel before embarking on any mission.

.’This christmas day cannot pass of by. I should spend it with someone. Any suggestion?’

my phone quickly scanned through my phone contact

‘Ekaete,’ it suggested

”That dwarf, she is not up to 4ft tall.God forbid. her bowl leg makes matters worse.next. ‘ i quickly dismissed her.

ENOH’
Enoh adores me no doubt. but her illetracy was a put off. how does one expect me a master degree graduate of computer science to hang out with a village school drop out, no way’ i said.
‘the rest are taken . susan was booked few hours ago. you were late.’

i wondered how it knew that . i had learnt not to argue with my phone.

‘i guess, i have to take you out then’. be my christmas patner’ i said to my phone expecting it to rejoice.

‘ bad idea, i dont do sex’ my phone replied

it was then i realisead that what i needed was a sex patner for christmas .